kecho
Shrimp
Permanently Banned.
Posts: 11
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Post by kecho on Apr 5, 2007 21:19:34 GMT 10
First of all. Rules:
-No RACIST jokes. -No 'Yo-Mamma' jokes. Please. -Riddles are okay to post. -No posting the same joke over and over again. -No stupid jokes (ex. What do you call a dog that's been cooked? HOT DOGS! = A big no-no). -Don't SPAM. -Only post IF HAVE A YOU JOKE.
To start things off: There's this guy, he's in a bus and it's packed. I mean eveyrone is should to shoulder with everyone else; and his stop is 45 minutes away. Suddenly, he's got gas in his stomach; he's gotta fart. He knows it's going to be big, loud, hot, and smelly. But he's left in desperation just holding it in. All of the sudden, he hears this music, and he thinks to himself, "Hey, I know this song!". He gets excited because he knows that there's a big *BANG* part in the middle. So, he decides that he will let his fart out at that moment. He holds it, holds it, and holds it...then *BANG* he lets it out. Timing was perfect, no one could've noticed. He tried to hold in a smile because he is so happy that he pulled off his little plan. Then suddenly, everyone in the bus looks at him, why? Highlight:Because he's wearing headphones.
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Post by shindigbuster on Apr 5, 2007 21:30:42 GMT 10
Two married men were complaining about their wives.
One man told the other man. "Once, my wife got a grain of sand in her eye. It took $5 to remove". The other man promptly replied, "You think that's bad? My wife got a furcoat in her eye! It took $20000 to remove!!"
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Post by Munchy on Apr 6, 2007 10:16:00 GMT 10
Two married men were complaining about their wives. One man told the other man. "Once, my wife got a grain of sand in her eye. It took $5 to remove". The other man promptly replied, "You think that's bad? My wife got a furcoat in her eye! It took $20000 to remove!!" ...? How can u tell when there's an elephant in the refrigerator? You cant get the door shut.How can u tell when there's an elephant under your bed? You nose is touching the ceiling.How can you tell that elephants like to swim alot? They always have their trunks with themHow do you stop a group of elephants from charging? Take away their credit card.What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him. Nothing, he just let out a little whine.yay for elephant jokes
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Post by ~:+:TaIcHoU:+:~ on Apr 6, 2007 12:14:28 GMT 10
lol.....how do you put an elephant into the freezer? just put him in..... how do you put a panda in the freezer? take out the elephant and shove the panda in
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Post by Litany on Apr 6, 2007 22:03:05 GMT 10
All the animals in the world were having a meeting, except one. Which one? The panda; he was in the freezer.
You come to a river infested with crocodiles. How do you get across? Swim; the crocodiles are in the meeting.
...DUH!!!
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Post by hotPATato3z on Apr 7, 2007 2:41:01 GMT 10
Who was the first underwater spy?
James Pond.
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random
Shrimp
mwahahahaha ([__])
Posts: 22
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Post by random on Apr 7, 2007 8:15:09 GMT 10
Tribute to mark barnsley =D
what do you do when you see a spaceman?? park in it man
what do you do when you see a fireman?? put it out man
what do you call a guy with a spade in his head?? Doug ==
what do you call a guy without a spade in his head?? Douglas ==
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kecho
Shrimp
Permanently Banned.
Posts: 11
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Post by kecho on Apr 7, 2007 9:12:33 GMT 10
Did you hear that the Energizer Bunny died due to sexual over-stimulation? Someone put in his batteries backwards and he kept coming and coming and coming...
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Post by ~:+:TaIcHoU:+:~ on Apr 7, 2007 11:50:17 GMT 10
LOL...nice bunny joke
There once was a hermit named Dave Who kept a dead person in his cave. She was missing a tit. She smelled like fudge. But think of the money he saved!
A kinky young girl from Coleshill, Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill, They found her girl thingy, in North Carolina, and bits of her tits in Brazil.
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Post by Munchy on Apr 7, 2007 12:39:03 GMT 10
hw does nuts rhyme with tits?
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Post by ~:+:TaIcHoU:+:~ on Apr 7, 2007 13:35:00 GMT 10
iono...it doesnt...rofl
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Aramman
Coral
Go Link!!!!
Posts: 956
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Post by Aramman on Apr 26, 2007 23:02:54 GMT 10
what do you call bob the builder and postman pat when they retire? Bob and Pat
: D
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Post by ~:+:TaIcHoU:+:~ on Apr 28, 2007 14:24:59 GMT 10
xD....thaz pretty smart
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.: AlphA :.
Little Fish
*Eats all the "little fish"*
Posts: 197
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Post by .: AlphA :. on Apr 28, 2007 16:26:43 GMT 10
hmm.. jokes.. i got riddles > not necessary funny but something for u to think about:
1. i pass before the sun, yet make no shadow. wat am i?
2. feed me and i live. give me drink and i die. wat am i?
3. wat has four wheels and flies?
4. It runs but never walks, sometimes sings but never talks. Lacks arms but has hands, lacks a head but has a face. wat is it?
5. walk on the living, they never mumble. walk on the dead, they mutter and grumble. whats is it?
good luck!! ;D
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Aramman
Coral
Go Link!!!!
Posts: 956
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Post by Aramman on Apr 28, 2007 17:03:25 GMT 10
1. moon : S 2.like a thing that dies when it drinks : S 3.a small plane 4. Ohh its a clock : D..................... : ( i googled it : ( 5. ....
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